Love to Hate
by madwoman1
Summary: This is a Snape fic and its set in his death eater days. Its got some originals, snape romance but not the kind you'd expect. A little Voldie and co. It will be R in later chapters but to keep it safe its PG13.
1. Default Chapter

Hi! I'm madwoman, this is my first HP fic, don't laugh. I'll except your flames and what not, valid criticism please . Not this, it sucks cos, it ... er sucks. Ya know?   
Well this is a SNAPE fic! *Snapes fans go wild*   
Its set in his death eater days and he's about ... 23 -24 I'd say. There are original characters and looooove, Um I'll keep it as PG -13 for now but I'll change it when the time comes, k?   
  
AND ... I have been reading HP fics for a while and get the gist so I'm not *that* ignorant of the little HP fanfiction rules.   
  
Okay I think I've rambled on a little TOO much, so here we go! No wait, the disclaimer.   
  
*Sigh*   
  
DISCLAIMER: clear enough for ya? Okay Snape, Voldie and all other characters that J.K Rowling made up are not mine, then why I ask would I be writing fanfiction? Oh yes, Kate belongs to me and other people (s) that I, moi, me made up. GOT IT? Good, we shall begin.   
  
This just may be a one shot, if you wish for this to continue, say so in the review, k?   
  
Chapter 1: Severus Snape  
  
A darkness hung over the small stone dungeon, so that any patch of light that dared leave its mark was smothered.   
Adding to the unfriendly atmosphere was the fact that it was freezing cold. It was surprising that icicles hadn't began to form on the high, arched ceiling.   
  
Then, breaking the formidable silence, the dungeon door opened revealing a small, blond woman.   
She looked around nervously but realising she was alone, she began breathing again.   
  
This young woman was hoping that one named Severus Snape would not be here, brooding around the steaming cauldrons, lips thinning when he saw that she had arrived.   
  
But to her relief the huge small room was totally devoid of any Severus Snape's.   
  
Smiling a little she hung her blue travelling cloak on a hook by the door then walked quickly over to a cauldron, it was bubbling slightly. Great yellow bubbles burst to the surface then popped and sprayed small amounts of Potion on the floor.   
  
Sighing, she sprinkled some blue powder over the top and immediately it stopped bubbling, then with a wave of her wand she cleaned up the yellow potion that had spilt.   
  
She was so glad that he was not here, he would have come down on her like a ton of bricks.   
he was a hard boss to work for, Severus Snape. You could never make mistakes in his presence, its like calling Voldemort weak, you just don't do that.   
Poor Kate Montauge had been working for Severus Snape for only a week and she knew from experience, Severus was not easy to please. Mistakes or no mistakes this man was as hard to please as your formidable mother - in - law.   
  
You can't.  
  
  
Now Kate Montague worked in Madam Zambini's Apothecary, and her boss, Severus Snape was under Madam Zambini.   
  
Madam Zambini was a nice, but fiercely intelligent woman, who knew how to whip up any Potion any time.   
But her knowledge of the dark arts was put to use in her Apothecary. You see Madam Zambini's was on Knockturn Ally, the place where no Auror would go alone. It was Voldemorts hang out and the deatheaters suburb.   
  
So, as you have already gathered this shop dealed in dark Potion making.   
Madam Zambini's was a well known shop and many who were not the best at whipping up a complicated flesh eating Potion could come here.   
  
It was famous for being able to make anything.   
  
With her ambition and determination she had started her shop in which Severus Snape, Kate Montague and herself kept running.   
  
She began absent mindedly stirring her Potion when the slam of the door brought her back into reality.   
She turned around to meet Severus Snape's cold, black eyes.   
  
He did not look happy.   
  
Taking off his black travelling cloak he sweeped to wards her.   
  
"Good morning Miss Montague"   
  
He said in his silkiest voice, she looked up from her cauldron and muttered her 'goodmorning's.   
Robes billowing out around him the draft he stalked towards her.   
  
"I see your Potions still standing"   
  
She looked down, it was natural for her to do this when being criticised. Severus quite enjoyed this, well the domineering, killer part did anyway.   
  
"Yes"   
  
She mumbled, smirking to himself he went to attend his own cauldrons. After a while of throwing in some new ingredients on a particularly hard one, satisfied he moved on to the next.   
  
Her boss was very thorough with his work and when he made a mistake the second try would always result in success. He had a knack for potions, her boss.   
  
For her, Potions was always second best, charms on the top. Her family had not been pleased with this, well they were never pleased with her. Looking totally different from the rest of her family didn't help their hatred for her.   
  
The last straw must have been when she was put in Ravenclaw. Her Mother, tight-lipped and eyes blazing with fury had told her quite clearly that she was not loved and never would be.   
Being only eleven had ran off crying, and still would never understand them No matter how hard she tried they simply were to hard to please.   
Just like Severus Snape, she was still trying with him just to see if it were possible to.   
  
Sighing inwardly she got up and checked the cauldrons she was in charge of. Her boss, gave her a 'why didn't you do that earlier?' look but she just continued on walking.   
His black eyes never lied, only when they 'blanked out' that's what she called it when his eyes went emotionless.   
  
It was truly frightening when this happened.   
  
All the other caldrons seemed safe enough, only the sleeping death needed ingredients added so she was free to plonk back on her seat and daydream.   
  
Severus Snape found this quite annoying when she sat there staring wistfully into space, her blue eyes sparkling slightly.   
  
He wondered how she could just sit there doing nothing, scowling he spoke up.   
  
"Miss Montague could you please get the Potion done for Mr. Malfoy, I think he would like it *on* time."   
  
His voice sounded across the dungeon, harshly jolting her out of a pleasant daydream.   
  
She nodded and mumbled her apologies then went to find what exactly Mr. Malfoy wanted. Nimbly she walked over to the other end of the room, her feet hardly making a sound on the cold, hard floors.   
  
Stuck on the wall was a list of names and the order underneath, she found Mr. Malfoy after a name that had been ticked, he wanted a practically nasty one that was called 'Kanika Potion'. It was called Kanika after the witch who discovered it but she didn't live long since it spilled all over her and turned her inside out then slowly rotted.   
  
This one was dangerous because if one drop touched you it would take affect. Shuddering at the thought she wandered over to a towering bookcase in the corner.   
  
All these books seemed to have been banned or looked old and battered, she chose one entitled 'Flesh devouring and flesh eating Potions'   
  
No wonder Mr. Malfoy didn't want to brew it himself, I don't. She thought to herself.   
  
Heaving the huge old book into her arms she quickly walked over to a free cauldron and began searching.   
  
All the Potions in this book where either very grotesque or really weird.   
After much searching she found it. The ingredients took up two pages and the writing was tiny. Sighing ripped out the two pages and trudged off to the store room.   
Unluckily the storeroom door was open and a disgruntled Severus Snape stood on one of the shelves, gathering ingredients.   
  
Gulping she stepped inside. The first ingredients were pretty easy but once on the other page they got complicated and harder to find.   
  
She and Severus Snape bustled around the squashed storeroom grabbing various things off the shelves.   
  
The last two things on her list she could not find, they're here somewhere, she thought.   
On the top shelf she spotted what she was looking for, human fingers.   
Whispering the summoning charm it flew off the shelf and belted towards her.   
  
Moving back she caught it just in time, but she was beginning to over balance, her arms flapped wildly and Severus Snape gave a strangled cry as fell back on him.   
  
As he fell he hit his head on the shelf sending jars crashing to the ground, as for her the glass jar jumped out of her hands, smashing into the stone floor.   
  
She couldn't believe her clumsiness, remembering that she was lying on her Boss's chest - not a good idea- she quickly jumped up.   
  
"God, I'm so, so sorry. Here let me help you up."   
  
She offered her shaking hand to the dishevelled man on the ground, he took it and she heaved him upright.   
  
His black eyes flashed and teeth bared he advanced apon the shaking girl. She bit her lip as he stood in front of her, there was nothing as horrible as getting Severus Snape mad.   
  
"Next time Miss Montague -his voice dripping with sarcasm- USE THE LADDER"   
  
He gave her a cold smile and turned to leave, but stopped and looked over his shoulder.   
"This will be coming out of your pay and I think it would be *fair* if you explained to Mr. Malfoy why his Potion is going to be late, got it?"   
  
He said in a low hiss, then glaring madly he walked out leaving Kate Montague shaking madly staring at Severus Snapes retreating back.   
  
*   
  
Severus muttered to himself as he walked home, he'd had a bad day, his assistant had destroyed half of the shelves and bowling him over in the process, then he had to endure the fact that she hardly looked at him for the entire day because he had yelled at her.   
  
Not that he didn't mind it was just that she usually tried to make conversation but when she didn't everything was so tense, at least he had caused the tense and had nothing to be afraid of.   
  
Also, he had got sore, bruised ribs from when she had fallen on him and a huge red bump on his head.   
It wasn't that he didn't like the pain, it was only little.   
  
The grim street of Knockturn ally was deserted at night, only a couple brave souls dare venture out, he was one of them.   
Severus looked up, it was a clear night tonight, the stars shined brightly down. He liked the stars, they where so nice to just look at.   
Remembering that walking round with your head up generally lead up to crashing into a lamp post.   
That would not be pretty.   
  
But the stars were no concern to him tonight. Tonight he planed to get some sleep, no deatheater meetings, no Potions to do.   
For once he could relax.   
  
It felt rather cold, to cold infect. He rubbed his arms to warm up, then he realised that he had left his cloak behind.   
  
God was I that mad? He mused half heartedly.   
  
He was just about to turn back when he heard a small voice echoing in the empty street.   
  
That voice was calling his name.   
  
Grabbing his wand he listened intently, a figure came round the corner and dashed towards him, who was it?   
  
Under his breath he muttered 'lumous' and a thin beam of wand light travelled across the road and connected with Kate Montague.   
She had something under her arm, it looked like a travelling cloak, no his travelling cloak.   
  
"Severus ... y-your cloak ... "   
  
She said sounding out of breath.   
After a short pause she handed him his cloak, after a quick smile she waved and ran off into the distance, he began to thank her but with a small pop she had dis-apperated.   
  
Staring down the dark and gloomy street he swung his cloak over his shoulders, a voice sounded from the shadows, a soft cunning voice that he knew all to well.   
  
"Severus, Severus Severus, hanging round with my sister now are we? She really isn't your type"   
  
  
  
  
Oooooo a cliff-hanger .. er well kinda..  
  
Please review PLEASE!!!!!!!!   
  
Thank you..  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. The trick is to keep breathing

Rightiho, here's the second chapter. Have no fear, a plot looms in the distance.   
  
Disclaimer: Wow! Guess what I don't own the HP characters, but I own Sevi. He and I have good talks on the Phone you know ...  
  
Naw, i'm kidding ...   
  
Please enjoy and stuff.  
  
Chapter 2: The trick is to keep breathing.   
  
  
Jonathan Montague stepped out of the shadows, brown eyes shining maliciously. Severus's eyes narrowed slightly, he didn't really trust this man.   
  
"Jonathan.."   
  
The man opposite him smiled coldly, his black robes fluttering in the wind. He looked like some kind of Prince, with his short dark hair and handsome face he fitted the part very well.   
  
And then there was Severus, thin, sallow skinned and hooked nose. He looked like some kind of leper.   
  
"Yes Severus that's my name. Now what *were* you doing with a sister?"   
  
He laughed quietly and grinned.   
  
"She was returning my cloak, nothing more.."  
  
Severus spat these words out like an enraged snake, fangs spitting venom in the preys direction.   
  
"Oh, you left your cloak at her house? - he rose an eyebrow- I didn't know you were *sleeping* with her-  
  
He was cut short my a growling Severus, shoving his wand on his temple, eyes glittering with rage.   
  
"Your sister works for me, nothing else nothing less, and if your twisted mind says anything more on the subject I'll remove that big mouth of yours."   
  
Jonathan struggled slightly but gave up when he felt Severus's wand tip push harder into his skull.   
  
"All right, all right"   
  
He took his wand away from the shorter mans head, Jonathan brushed his robs off muttering swearing magnificently. Now totally sure that his robes were spotless he began talking gain but this time in a much quieter tone.   
  
"Do you have any messages for me?"   
  
Question Severus, a long black eyebrow raised hopefully.   
  
"Yes, Yes. Lucius Malfoy and the old gang are having drinks, your invited."   
  
He grunted looking rather sulky. He smirked again, eyebrows going up and down.   
  
"You can bring my sister along if you lik-"   
  
Severus drew out his wand once more, eyes ablaze.  
  
"Drop it Montague"   
  
He gave sigh and grumbled to himself, Severus Snape always ruined his fun.   
  
'So are you coming?"  
  
Severus thought for a while, he really didn't feel like socialising but he might as well, he had nothing better to do."   
  
"All right"   
  
Jonathan clapped melodramatically.   
  
"Well done Sevi"   
  
Severus growled angrily and Jonathan threw up his hands in defeat.   
  
"Tomorrow, Malfoy Manor at eight"   
  
And with that Jonathan turned on his heel and strutted off an air of importance surrounding him.   
Severus sighed, he hoped this wouldn't be like last time. Avery got so drunk he ended up dancing on the banister, and falling off.   
  
Maybe he was getting to old. he shook his greasy head, to old at twenty-three? Hope not.   
Giving the deserted street one last glare he dis-apperated into the night.   
*   
  
Kate Montague lay curled up in her blankets staring at the ceiling with utter - most concentration.   
Her blue eyes where troubled as she toyed with her sheet.   
But what was keeping her awake at the wee hours of the morning?   
  
Why, Severus Snape of course!  
  
She sighed, why couldn't she get that greasy haired basted out of her head? Her lips parted as she groaned as she threw her head under her pillow.   
  
The only answer she got in return was the still silence that filled the small apartment. She rolled over frowning, she closed her eyes hoping tat sleep would over take her.   
  
He was nothing to be thought about, just her boss. Nothing more. But her head refused to listen and continued bombarding her with images of Severus Snape, why?   
  
Her scared arms pulled the pillow over her head once more, burying it deep into her face.   
She did hate him, truly she did. But why was she thinking about him at three o' clock in the morning?   
It was most confusing.   
  
She turned onto her back and went over why she would be thinking about him. Okay, one I'm mad at him. Two, she wanted to kill him. Three, she er.. liked him?   
No that couldn't be, I refuse to believe it! She screamed to her mind. But it still kept on humming away, Severus Snape swam before her eyes, his dark black eyes staring into space.   
  
No! Don't think about it!, just got to sleep, peaceful sleep.  
  
But it didn't come, muttering to herself she wrenched herself out of the warm, cosy bed and stomped into the bathroom.   
  
Throwing open the bathroom cabinet she found what she was looking for, sleeping potion! She grabbed it hastily and closed the cabinet. The small mirror stared back at her, showing her tired reflection.   
  
She *did* look terrible! her hair was all in disarray, eyes all gunky. Not a pretty sight. Looking away she left the bathroom. She never really liked mirrors, they reflected to much sometimes.   
Some things she didn't want to see, others to see.   
  
Jumping back into bed she gulped down the whole bottled, in no time she was fast asleep.   
  
*   
  
Severus pulled on his dark, black robes, yanking them over his greasy head.   
  
Another day at the grind, he thought, narrowing his eyes distastefully. He liked the fact that he was making Potions but these simple things brought no challenge, but Lord Voldemort did.   
He liked his assignments, they made him think, not like these pitfall excuses for dark Potions.   
Severus pouted slightly at the thought of the time he was wasting, but Madam Zambini's did pay well.   
  
Straightening his robes he walked into the bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush, scrubbing madly he let his mind wander.   
  
Work, Lucius's place at eight, annoying but pretty assistant, yes he thought she was good looking but not great.   
  
Hell, he was male he did think of woman time to time, even if it wasn't that much.   
  
Avery seems to think he's very strange since his mind isn't thinking about woman's breasts all the time, sighs and shakes his head when he doesn't bang his fist on the table whenever some woman walks past with hardly any clothes on.   
  
Severus shook his head and wondered what it was going to happen tonight, Avery would defiantly start bugging him about the fact that he had been girlfriendless for two years now.   
  
He spat into the cream basin and put his toothbrush back, it was amazing how much musing one could do while scrubbing their teeth. Astounding.   
  
Quickly checking himself in the mirror, same as always, with a disgruntled mutter about his not exactly pleasing face, he left.   
  
Severus Snape stalked out of his old and very haunted looking house, whispering charms to keep his house and possessions safe.   
  
He turned a dark and gloomy looking corner, his breath coming out in large, white clouds. Casting his stare across the quiet ally, the dark and grimy houses warding anyone from this dangerous place.   
  
As the residents of Nemesis ally began to wake up Severus Dis-apperated without a trace.   
  
*   
  
A young woman walked quietly through Knockturn Ally her eyes fixed determinedly at the pavement. Once she came to an black door, her eyes left the pavement looking around nervously.   
  
She reached out for the shiny silver doorknob and twisted it, the black door swung open revealing a set of stone steps leading down to who knows where. Gulping, she trudged down the dark stair way, her feet tapping on the stone steps.   
  
Once at the bottom a well lit dungeon greeted her, nothing new here. She heard the sounds of caldrons bubbling behind a huge, wooded door. As usual she opened it up and stepped inside.   
Another boring day with her venom-spitting boss that looked more vindictive everyday.   
  
Not to mention that he looked a little less grumpy today, even happyish, well to most who hadn't spent a week and a bit with Severus Snape he would look quite unapproachable, but today the atmosphere didn't feel so tense.   
  
What was making him like this?   
  
"Morning Mr Snape"   
  
He looked up from the cauldron that he was stirring.   
  
"Morning Miss Montague"   
  
He let his lips lift slightly at the end, god he smiled? Ehgh, this is getting weird!   
  
But later in the day Kate was to find out tat Severus Snape's happy mood did not last very long ...   
  
"Stupid Girl! I told you to put the frogs eyes in BEFORE the beetles, didn't I?"   
  
Growled a spitting Severus, Kate nodded shyly diverting her blue eyes from Severus's black ones.   
  
"Well? What do you have to say for your self?"   
  
He zoned in, bending down so that she had to look him in the eyes.  
  
"I-I-I'm sorry, sir."   
  
She barley whispered her eyes locked with his. They stared into hers, glittering with fury, Kate's widened with fear, her small body cowering under his shadow.   
  
"I expect you not to make the same mistake again, Miss Montague."   
  
He said in his most silky voice, glaring coldly he prowled off, the cauldrons giving him a wide berth, even if they couldn't move it seemed that way.   
  
Biting her lip she tried to fix up her Potion, avoiding Severus's piercing glare that even if her back was turned she could feel it pummelling into her backside.   
  
She never thought she could hate anyone this much, not counting family members. Kate had reserved a special kind of hate for Severus, a growing hate that rose everytime his scathing voice echoed around the dungeon. She had learned to live with it but sometimes he overwhelmed her, pushing her sensitive mind into self hate.   
  
It was natural for her to hate herself, being brought up in the Montague family and enduring their hate for her she was entitled to it.   
  
But Severus made her hate, hate so much that she had to escape, the only way she knew how.   
  
Sometimes when he wasn't glaring or being scary he was bearable, even nice, it never lasted long though.   
  
Sighing inwardly she began to add ingredients to the bubbling cauldron.   
He really is to much, Severus Snape.   
  
*   
  
Severus quickly exited the cold, empty dungeon. Kate had left sometime ago, she was not one to hang around when she could already leave, frankly he didn't blame her.   
He wasn't exactly a social person.   
  
"Severus? Are you leaving?"   
  
Said a sharp, warm voice.   
  
Severus whipped round. Madam Zambini stood in the stair way, a perfectly plucked eyebrow raised with curiosity.   
  
"Yes"   
  
She smiled, her grey streaked hair shining in the candlelight.   
  
"Good, don't lock up I will be here for a while. Goodnight."   
  
Turning on her heel she strode down a small staircase that led down to who knows where.   
Once Madam Zambini had left Severus exited the Apothecary, closing the door gently behind him.   
  
He wasn't really looking forward to this thing at Lucius's place, well technicly its called Malfoy Manor. Big, old place with hundreds of servants and allot of money, the strange thing was that no one seemed to know where that money came from.   
  
But it was known to some that most of that money came from Lord Voldemorts hands, he needs Malfoy, he's got a respectable front at the ministry. Essential in his world take over.   
  
Severus let out a long harrowing sigh, in the silent ally the sigh sounded like a wail. Severus really didn't want to be sociable, but he said he'd come and I suppose it won't be to bad.   
  
He tried to reassure himself but there was this longing to go back to bed, to sleep. He really was tired though. The late nights alone in that dungeon brooding over some strange concoction were catching up on him.   
  
Severus's black eyes roamed around the empty street, he had come to a conclusion. Knockturn Ally never changed.   
  
After enjoying the silence for a couple of more minutes, Severus appearated.  
  
  
Instantly, he appeared in Nemesis Ally, it looked ghostly at night, a mist rapping itself firmly around the each house.   
  
There were no stars tonight, the sky was covered with grey clouds that were swirling above his head.   
Tinny raindrops began to fall from the sky, but he didn't really care. Once reaching his den, he slipped inside.   
  
His house was incredibly dark but with a well placed flick of his wand a couple of candles lit up the long hallway.   
The light from the candles danced across the stalk walls and onto the polished wooden floors.   
  
Severus prowled down the hallway and into his bedroom. Throwing off his robes he searched through his wardrobe for some clean ones. Realising that it was pitch black he pointed his wand at an empty fireplace, at once flames erupted in the stone fireplace sending rays of sharp light soaring across the room.   
  
After that he resumed his searching, at last he came across a relatively nice looking robe, it was black, well all his robes were black. But these ones were clean and more billowy.   
Pulling them over his head he looked at his watch, it was nearly eight o'clock, he had to get going!   
  
Biting his lower lip he yanked on his boots, he didn't know why he took them off in the first place. Finally, they were on! Blowing out all the candles he apperated.   
  
Severus Snape appeared on the lawn of Malfoy Manor. He would always be amazed at the size of this place, it was absolutely huge! At about six storeys high it towered over most trees and surrounding houses.   
  
He began to walk towards the massive mansion. After about five minutes he finally arrived at the Malfoy's front door. It was an elaborate oak with silver handles the twisted themselves into serpents, Slytherin ones in fact.   
  
Before he could even knock the door flew open, revealing a house elf looking up with huge, tennisball eyes.   
"How may I help?"   
  
Squeaked the elf.   
  
"I'm here to see Lucius Malfoy"   
  
He spat out the last name as if it were poison. The elf quailed under Severus's glare.   
  
"Ah! Snape! I thought you'd chickened out!"   
  
Cried a voice from behind the other door, in a flash it was pulled open. A smirking Jonathan Montague stood in the doorway, Severus's lip curled.   
  
"Come in, its not polite to stand on the doorstep for *to* long."   
  
Jonathan beckoned him inside, he politely followed. Once inside the elf closed the door silently behind him.   
  
"May I take your cloak sir?'   
  
Squeaked the elf, his eyes trying to avoid Severus's hard gaze. Nodding his head he took off his travelling cloak and handed it to the shaking elf. He quickly ran off, not daring to look behind him.   
  
Jonathan walked on ahead, voices echoed from a room somewhere.   
  
"So you didn't bring my sister, hmm? I thought she's love to com-"   
  
"Once again Montague, Drop it!"   
  
The two men strode down the huge, carpeted hallway, their feet echoing in the silence.   
  
"Who's here?"   
  
Severus grunted, Johnathen turned his head.   
  
"Oh, everybody, except Crabbe, I think he probably forgot, the moron."   
  
He drawled, Jonathan didn't really like Crabbe, his only purpose was to serve Lucius and co.   
But totally useless in doing anything else.   
  
The walls where full of paintings of past Malfoys, landscapes and another things he couldn't make out. Everything had this ancient, dark feel to it. Like if you touched something the blackness would imprint on you.   
  
Well it felt that way to Severus. After a brief couple of minutes Jonathan halted at a dark wooden door, the sounds of people were infinitely clearer here, he could make out the people now.   
  
With the twist of the doorhandle Johnethen and Severus stepped inside.   
  
"Well guess who came in the end?"   
  
Shouted Jonathan, pointing at a sullen Severus, eyes glaring at the occupants of the room.   
  
They cheered and Lucius motion for him to sit down, obligingly he took a seat between Jonathan and Avery, stupid, stupid me, he cursed to himself. He just *had* to sit next to his least favourite people. The drunken, perverted idiot and the teasing, snobby idiot.   
Just GREAT!   
  
He looked around lazily, they are were here, the old "gang". They had all hung around in their school days then moved on to bigger and better things, to put it frankly, Lord Voldemort.   
  
As pure blooded Slytherins they thought they had this duty to forfill, to be devious, dark wizards and Voldemort seemed to be perfect for young and hungry Slytherins, to perfect.   
  
We all are his puppets, his manipulates, his toys. I think most of us realise this but we do it freely now, where in to deep to care and to scared to get out.   
  
Severus looked hard at each face, there was the Lestranges, in love with themselves and Voldemort., there was Lucius, stuck up rich kid with the power and the money to get him places.   
  
And Montague, the quick witted, teasing one. No gang would be complete with out someone like him.   
  
Then who can forget Dion Avery? The greasy moron with nothing but Porno on his mind.   
There was Crabbe as well, stupid oaf that acted as Lucius's bodyguard. Ah and Crouch, the young, loyal straw haird follower. He looks so innocent but something burns in those eyes, a hatred and yearning.   
  
It scares us shitless.   
  
Ah yes, Evan Rosier and Florence Wilkes, the closenit ones, don't talk much though. Been best friends since they first met, I think it goes *alot* further then that nowadays.   
  
Severus didn't know how long he'd been musing for, to onlookers he looked like he always did.   
Cold, hard and watchful. No one saw this as out of the ordinary.   
  
Montague always notices when anyone's quiet, comments on this, tries to wind them up. Sometimes works, sometimes doesn't.   
  
"Hey Sevi? Want some wine? To bad my sister isn't here.. you could have had allot more fu-"  
  
"Shut UP Jonathan"   
  
Lucius's head turned, so did Avery's.   
  
"What's this Snape?"   
  
Drawled Lucius, Avery leered appreciatively.  
  
"Nothing."   
  
Spat Severus. Lucius's eyes glittered Maliciously.  
  
"Its not *nothing*, what did he say Jonathan?"   
  
He said, turning his attentions to the man sitting by Severus. Jonathan's eyebrows rose in mock surprise.   
  
"Oh, you mean about my sister and Severus..?"   
  
Lucius's thin lips twisted into a smile.   
  
"Your sister and Severus?"   
  
Jonathan nodded energetically, eyes dancing. Severus Groaned and put his greasy head into his hands.   
  
"My GOD! Him and YOUR sister, the shy blond one?"   
  
"Montague, my sister works for me, nothing more. The way you talk about her its like she's some kind of fuck buddy"   
  
Lucius scoffed and Avery choked on his wine. Jonathan looked incredibly shocked and stared blankly at Severus.   
  
"What do you mean by FUCK buddy?"   
  
Whispered Jonathan.   
  
Severus looked mildly up at him.   
  
"You talk about her like you want to fuck her Montague"   
  
He face faulted.   
  
"I do not!"   
  
"Yes you do"   
  
He turned away, looking disgusted.   
  
"I do?"   
  
He said in a strangled whisper.   
  
Lucius stepped forward, trying not to laugh.   
  
"Well lets put it this way Jonathan, you do."   
  
His jaw dropped, then quickly regained his composure.   
  
"Well I'm not the only one who'd like to be her fuck buddy, hmm Severus?"   
  
He rose his eyebrows in Severus's direction.   
  
"So YOU do want to fuck your sister!"   
  
Said Avery in an excited voice.   
  
  
Jonathan gaped at Avery, Lucius sniggered behind his hand.   
  
  
"God, you truly are perverted Avery.."  
  
  
Muttered Jonathan, shaking his head dejectedly. Avery sat back in his chair looking pleased with himself.   
  
"Yep"  
  
Said Avery, a smug smile plastered on his square face. Lucius sighed and poured himself another glass on wine, Raine Lestrange gave Jonathan a quizzical look but then seeing that the little feud had finished, went back to her previous conversation with her husband, Peter Lestrange.   
  
Severus sank back in his chair, forfillment washing over him. How he loved to scare Jonathan, but to make him speechless was a miracle. Some thought it was impossible but he had known him for quite sometime and knew him better then that.   
  
Fucking his sister was not -well- exactly something that he would like to do.   
  
Refilling his wine glass he sipped it remorsefully, he didn't really like wine. Evan Rosier mouthed 'Fuck buddy' to Severus, a mischievous glint in his eye. Severus glared back, pointing his wand at Evan he whispered a bucking hex, in a few seconds Evan was bouncing all over the Malfoys living room.   
  
Howls of laughter erupted from everyone as Severus simply smirked. After a few minutes of Evan bouncing and bucking Severus waved his wand and Evan fell to the floor.   
  
He muttered under his breath and rubbed his backside gently, glaring daggers in Severus's direction.   
  
After a couple more imitations of Evan's little show, everyone quieted down.   
  
"So Severus, how is that little assitant of yours?"   
  
Came a proud voice from behind Severus, he turned around slowly meeting Riane Lestrange's piercing stare.   
  
"I wouldn't know"   
  
She smiled coldly, her hooded eyes emitting waves of hatred.   
  
"Well she does work with you, why *wouldn't* you know?"   
  
His eyes narrowed.   
  
"I am not a Montague baby-sitter Riane, why would any of this concern you?"   
  
"Well ...  
  
She paused.   
  
"What I've been hearing from Jonathan it seems you two are together."  
  
Severus snarled, teeth bared and fists clenched he managed to spit a few well chosen words out.  
  
"I AM not going out with Jonathan's sister! If you think I am why don't you ask her?"  
  
"Good thinking Severus, say Jonathan where does your sister live?"   
  
Jonathan stared blankly at Riane.   
  
"I dunno"   
  
Riane gave an angry glare at Severus then walked over to her adoring husband, head held high like a crowned queen.   
  
Riane's jealousy of Severus was only matched by his hatred for her. She was jealous of his high Deatheater ranking and he, well loathed her for reasons that were to complex to explain.   
  
He watched her leave, glaring at her retreating back hoping to burn holes through it.   
  
  
The bunch of young Deatheaters talked on into the night, laughing, shouting and getting very drunk.   
  
In the wee hours of the morning Severus stumbled into the Malfoys fire place and flooed back home, smiling all the way.   
  
*   
  
The trick is to keep breathing, don't let it get you Kate. Just pull it across your skin, that's all.   
  
The young woman sat in her bathroom, blond hair hiding her face from view Blood was flowing from three open wounds, laced across her pale arm.   
  
She felt no pain, only release. It was blissful, almost addictive. Putting the knife down she sat there, eyes glazed over,   
  
The blood dribbled off her arm and onto the bathroom floor, forming a red puddle.   
  
She needed this, needed more then ever now, she hadn't done this for along time.   
  
Until now.   
  
The pain he caused was tremendous, like a huge tidal wave drowning her in a pool of blackness. It seemed the only way to get out, she wasn't dead yet, keep breathing Kate, it I'll get better.   
  
The knife glinted, she liked knives, they were deadly, so deadly. But beautiful none the less.   
They could kill her, others in one swift move but if you were careful could make the pain last so much longer.   
  
Longer.   
  
Gasping slightly she grabbed some plasters from the bathroom cabinet, totally oblivious to the blood that was snaking its way down her arm. Raking three plasters she placed them across the wounds.   
She knew they wouldn't last long, the cuts were deep. She could have made them disappear with a simple healing charm but not now.   
  
Not until she could think clearly. Not until the adrenaline had gone, she could see everything so much better when she waited.   
  
So much clearer.   
  
  
Always the one to drag her down.   
  
  
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around.   
  
  
The trick is to keep breathing.   
  
  
The trick is to keep breathing.   
  
  
  
  
What do you guys think? The chapter title and end lines were off Garbage's song 'the trick is to keep breathing'. They own it NOT ME.   
  
Well I did the Deatheater scene okay, I wanted to make them more human, less evil. They are young adults, not bloody middle-aged pricks.   
  
If you didn't like the fact that Sevi swore, deal with it. I was thinking maybe each chapter should be named after a garbage song, what do ya think? Their songs are so wonderfully depressing it would fit.   
  
Review please! Thanks reviewers your a real help.   
  
  



	3. Mourning Air

Hey guys, this is the third chapter, little sexual tension but please do read, a little angst, lots of Severus and a sprinkle of Voldie.   
  
YAY!   
  
Okay I WAS going to garbage headings but I'll do them when they fit, for this chapter its a no-no. none of the songs would fit *sigh*.   
  
I'll be quiet  
  
  
  
Chapter 3: Mourning Air.   
  
  
Severus groaned and put a long, pale arm over his face. Its was time to get up. Morning. Work.   
Another groan escaped his lips as he rolled over, shoving his head under his pillow.   
  
His head ached and his mouth hurt for some reason. He couldn't remember much from last night but got glimpses of a bucking Evan and Avery dancing.   
Now that he thought about it, he didn't *want* to know what happened last night.   
  
He peeked out from under his lumpy pillow, 7:10. Ow. Even moving hurt, how much did he drink last night? It wasn't like Severus to drink excessively but I guess last night was an exception.   
  
His head was still spinning from that strange dream he had last night. It was so vivid, a green serpent was chasing him in circles, all he could do was go round and round and round. But there was someone, so close but very far away. It was Kate Montagues voice, she was calling him, begging him to stop. He looked at her, she looked at him. He slowed down, but for her? Why? Ah well, might as well get up. It was only a dream ...   
  
Moving his foot around he found the edge of his bed and timidly stuck his toes out into the morning air, in an instant his foot shot back in. It was freezing! But he had to get up, work.   
Slowly but surely he moved his arms out of his bed, then feet, which recoiled slightly when they where forced out of his bed.   
And last but not least his head and torso, he shivered and his teeth chattered, but he was out of bed!   
  
Severus stood there, shaking from head to toe, only a thin night-shirt to shield him from the sharp morning air.   
  
His head was throbbing painfully, it felt like to hammers were hitting him on the head, one after the other.   
Wincing, he clumsily walked to the shower, banging into various items of furniture. After what seemed like hours he finally reached the glorious, wonders shower.   
  
Holy light seemed to fall on it, angels singing its praises. Stepping in, Severus waited for the cascading warm water to wash over him.   
  
But it didn't.   
  
Sharp needles of ice cold water hit him painfully in the head, he swore magnificently and nursed his aching head.   
  
He promised himself that he would NEVER get drunk again.   
  
  
*   
  
  
A long stone chamber stood in silence as three cloaked figures stood before a man on a sliver throne, a snake slithering around his ankles.   
  
"So, this Mudblood was to hard to kill for Lord Voldemorts hand picked servants?"   
  
Said the Man, each word dripping with sarcasm making even the bravest of men shudder in fear.   
  
"I am sorry My Lord"   
  
Whispered one of the three men that stood, no cowered before the towering pillar of hate that was Lord Voldemort.   
  
"Sorry isn't good enough Montague"   
  
He hissed, scarlet eyes narrowed with displeasure. His long, spider like hands pushing himself up so that he towered above the cowering men.   
  
In a wide sweeping movement he took his wand out of his robe pocket, he fingered it lovingly.   
  
"Crucio"   
  
He said in a bored tone, the man on the left fell onto the stone floor, writhing in pain. His arms were flailing in all directions. But the scream that filled the room was horrifying, it was a blood curdling scream that chilled your bones and made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.   
  
"I do not need you're apologies, I need you to do as I tell you."   
  
Waving his wand the screaming stopped and the man lay there, breathing in slowly he got to his feet, wavering slightly but managed not to fall down.   
  
"Is that clear?"   
  
Lord Voldemort whispered, there where mummers of agreement from the three men.   
  
"Now GO"   
  
They quickly bowed then disappeared leaving the snake-like man to his empty chamber of silence.   
  
*  
  
Two woman sat at a small kitchen table, there conversation quiet and thick with emotion.   
  
"Marie your in a safehouse, don't worry"   
  
Whispered the blond one on the left, her hand patting the other gingerly on the back.   
  
"I know, I know. But Kate, what if they find us? What if the ministry gets it wrong? The dark Lord always finishes a job off. And what about? What happens if they kill him too?"   
  
She slid her eyes away from Kate's, tears sliding down her red cheeks. Biting her lip she stared at the table, concentrating on its every bump and scratch. Her son was everything to her, she was never content unless he was near. She was such a worrier, Marie   
  
No words could make this situation any better, realising this she gently put her arms around her friends quivering body, just as she wrapped her arms around Marie broke down, sobbing into Kate's shoulder.   
  
"Shhh, its all right"   
  
Mummered Kate, it was hard for her. Lord Voldemort had already killed her mother and father. She and her husband where next until a couple of Aurors burst in and a brave lad called Long bottom fought the deatheaters off single handily.   
They had all escaped and now, out for revenge, the ministry, realising this stuck Marie Davies and her husband in a safe house letting only her best friend, Kate Montague know its location.   
  
While trying to comfort her distraught friend Kate's mind wandered, it wandered to Severus Snape.   
He troubled her, immensely. But not now, her friend needed her. She should be there for her, but something was nagging, something was going to happen ...   
  
As she gently held her friend against her three men prowled towards the house...  
  
  
"Shut up Avery"   
  
Hissed Jonathan Montague, hitting Avery on the back of the head. Muttering obscenities under his breath he continued on, the other three lagging behind.   
  
It was a cloudy night and tiny droplets of rain began to drop from the moody and brooding sky. The three cloaked figures moved forward, their footsteps lost in the night. It would be only commen sense that the ministry had put up guard charms and traps but three experienced deatheaters were up to the job, but if there was a Mad-eye-Moody lurking in the bushes they didn't stand a chance.   
  
Avery reached inside his pocket and pulled out a tiny velvet bag with a gold drawstring that gleamed in the cloudy moonlight.   
Opening it he reached inside and drew out a pinch of dark blue powder that oozed power. Striding over to the house he muttered a few words and sprinkled the powder on the ground. Almost instantly the house flickered blue in a few places, then went black once more.   
  
Avery smirked to himself, Severus was definatly one of the best, it took time and pure talent to make a magic disable potion. He remembered in there seventh year Severus stumbled out of his own, private lab, an insane grin spread across his face. That was his own invention, Lord Voldemort thought of Severus Snape very highly, not even he had thought of that one.   
  
What a magic disable does is that it finds any charms that have been placed on a building or person and disables them for at least two hours, it wasn't permanent and could only be used once but it was very handy in these kinds of situations.   
  
Pocketing it he gave the other two a curt nod and prowled off towards the front door, he could hear the sounds of two people talking, they both sounded female.   
  
He beckoned hastily to the others, at once they stationed themselves behind him. On the count of three Avery slammed the door open, Montague and the other guy ran ahead into the kitchen, like hooded demons they grabbed the two woman, the brown hairdo one struggle, screamed and put up an almighty fight. But the other pleaded with Montague to let go, pleaded not to hurt her friend.   
  
But he held on tight, sister or no sister, he wasn't about to lose his life for her.   
  
Avery stomped into the kitchen, you couldn't see his face, you couldn't see any of there faces but this victories feeling that radiated off each one was a sure sign that they were smirking, smirking there great big death eater heads off.   
  
"We've come to finish the job off, mudblood"   
  
The woman whimpered. The other one looked around frantically. Eyeing the others wands with bulging eyes.   
  
The other two snickered quietly. Avery rose his wand and spoke those deadly words with pride.   
  
"Avada Kevadra"   
  
In a flash of green light Marie Davies went cold, her heart stopped and her body halted in its tracks.   
  
A high pitched scream emitted from Kate's mouth, it twisted itself around the room zipped through the dark corridors of the small safe house.   
  
The man that was holding her rammed his hand over her mouth, after a brief struggle she went silent.   
Her eyes, they hurt so much, there was nothing left. Out of the haze her reasoning kicked in, the bubbling hate began to boil, it was like a light in her head and been switched off.   
  
Why did this always happen to me? I try so hard to make life better, to be nice, a good person. Why did it always end up like this?   
  
It was like someone had pulled the cover from a hidden object, her anger rose and rose to an unfathomable heights.   
  
It wizzed through her head and covered her eyes until the only thing she could see was that cloaked figure muttering those deadly words, taking what she had loved the most. Her best friend.   
Body coiled like a spring, hands balled into tiny fists that suffocating cover was thrown over, like someone had drenched her in cold water, that red hot anger left her in a thick cloud of steam.   
  
Once again the raging demon had left her, taking its courage with it. Now, she was just a scared snivelling woman.   
  
She stood there , tears pouring down her disbelieving face.   
  
How could she?   
  
How could she let it escape again ? Her friends life *could* have been avenged if she hadn't, she hadn't crawled under her shell again.   
  
If she hadn't felt ... scared.   
  
The mans arms held on to her tightly holding her limp, shocked body back with minimum effort.   
How could she?   
  
A small cry pierced the bitter silence, it sounded faint yet near.   
  
Roger ... there was still time ..   
  
Pushing the deatheaters sagging arms off her she sprinted down a dark deserted hallway, her heart hammering in her ears.   
  
A sign, a noise. Come on ...   
  
Her ears heard the baby wail again, this way. She burst through a closed door, on the bed lay Fred Davies, pale and stiff his face screwed up in rage. She could just see it, deatheater comes in, he lunges at him. There's a small figure shaking his fathers arm, his tiny face is covered in tears.   
  
"Dada, you gotta wake up. Dada, muma's waiting. Dada come on you gotta get up!"   
  
He shook his fathers arm more vigorously. He didn't understand, neither did she. Biting down hard on her lower lip she ran over a grabbed the tiny boy around the waist, he screamed and struggled against her. He kept on screaming 'Dada!', his tiny hands reaching out to the man on the bed.   
  
Foot steps thundered down the hall ...   
  
A wand, any wand. She ran her hands over the bedside table, lucky for her she came in contact with a long wooden utensil.   
  
Just as the deatheaters slammed the door open, just as the all roared the same deadly curse, Kate Montague dis-apperated.   
  
*   
  
Severus stirred his Potion , looking dreamily into its swirling pools of molten orange. Kate had left early to see a friend, she said she couldn't tell but it was urgent. Giving her a calculating look he nodded curtly and let her go, deep down he wished she'd stay. He didn't know why he wanted her company, he never wanted anyone's company. It was a rare sight indeed to see Severus Snape having a conversation that didn't end in threats or sarcastic comments.   
  
That dream he had last night was affected him badly, the way she was calling him, it was so strange. Why was this bugging him? It was just a stupid dream, nothing more! But once he put it out of his mind it came charging back, filling the usually dark corners of his mind with flashing dream-like pictures.   
  
He snarled and threw the stirring spoon into the cauldron, bits of potion flying everywhere. Folding his arms, he pouted and glared at the blank wall in front of him. He *was* not going to let this get to him. But it refused to go down without a fight. She was begging him, begging... he shook his head. This truly was stupid. Imagine, him getting worked up over a stupid dream ... him ...  
  
A cold feeling washed over him, something was wrong, very wrong. The cold started at his head and worked its way down, something was going to happen.   
This was wrong, he was being stupid, stupid Severus, stupid.   
  
Breaking his train of thought the dungeon door slammed open, he turned around sharply. A small boy was gripping tightly on to her, she was panting hard.   
  
"Kate?"   
  
  
*   
  
  
"How could you let her get away?"   
  
Avery hissed to a shaking Jonathan.   
  
"And you, Karkakoff, you were in the room with her?"   
  
No I wasn't, I went outside because I thought I heard someone outside"   
  
Avery grew a couple more niches in size, his hulking body loomed above them.   
  
"You went outside without ME?"   
  
Shouted Avery in a strangled voice, his anger was hitting boiling point ...   
  
"You two are going to find her, I don't care how you do it, just find her. Find her address, find out where she works, IS THAT CLEAR?"  
  
This time he nearly blew their heads off. The other two gave a slow, dejected nods.   
  
"She knows to much, she may even know our names since Karkakoff called me by my last name, NOW GO!"   
  
They walked back a couple of steps then dis-apperated, leaving a fuming Avery pondering over what to say to his Master.   
  
  
*   
  
"Severus, deatheaters ... get ministry ... dead."   
  
His black eyes stared from her to the tiny boy in her arms, what was going on here? Deatheaters? Oh no, did they go after the Davies, she must be their friends and went to the safe house ... he could kill her now and reveal to everyone his position as a Deatheater or he could play along, maybe a memory charm ... no it was to late.   
Her shoulders sagged slightly and eyes fell to the floor. She dragged her feet to a small stool and sat down. Severus stalked over to her, eyes cold and hard.   
  
"What happened?"   
  
His voice held no sympathy, it never did.   
  
"I - there was, deatheaters and they killed her I saved there son. Both dead, call the ministry, Aurors any one!"   
  
She sounded frantic and off beat, her words seemed to cut each other off. He frowned and put the pieces together.   
  
"You can't call for them here, they'll see the potions. Take the Knightbus to the headquarters, you shouldn't apperate if you can't even string a simple sentence together."   
  
Nodding mutely she jumped off the chair and swept out of the room, like a yellow - headed streak across black paper, she left.   
  
That was close, to close for Severus's comfort, he didn't kill, it wasn't -well- it would sabotage his position as a deatheater, yeah that was it. Sabotage, yeah.   
  
Kate sprinted up the stairs, the child in her arms began to cry, cooing softly she threw the door open and stepped out into the night.   
Pulling the wand out of her robes she held it directly in front of her. Just on Que. the huge triple-Decker bus stopped jumped out of the nothingness. Then, stepping out of the violent purple bus, was a teenage boy in a purple suit.   
  
"Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard . Just stick out your wand and -   
  
"Yes, yes I know the drill, Ministry head quaters please."   
  
The boy looked quite taken aback at being cut short of his introduction.   
  
"That's Three Sickles, for four Sikles you -   
  
Kate practically threw the money at the boy and jumped abord, found an empty bed and lay down.   
The tiny child buried his head into her chest and clung onto her fiercely.   
The shocked conductor glared at her back and muttered something to the driver, then with another loud BANG the bus roared into action.   
  
"Kate?'   
  
Mumered the small boy.   
"Yes?"   
  
"Where's mama and dada?"   
  
Kate averted her eyes from the child in her arms.   
  
"They've gone away"   
  
"Oh"   
  
He said in a sad little voice.   
  
"Will dey come back?"   
  
"No, Roger."   
  
"If you ever see dem can you tell Mama that I miss her?"   
  
"Sure."   
  
Smiling sweetly he fell fast asleep, not knowing the danger that he was in.   
  
"Ministry headquarters!"   
  
Yelled the teenage boy to a sleepy Kate, grunting she dragged her tired feet to the front of the bus, got off and walked into the tall brick building. She didn't realise what a mess she looked, hair in disarray and clothes torn she approached a ministry official.   
  
"The Davies .."   
  
He looked at her strangely, a auror badge shinning brightly on his crisp navy uniform.   
  
"What about them?"   
  
His voice e was warm and kind, his dark eyes curious.   
  
"Their dead"   
  
The group he was standing with him tensed.   
  
"What happened?"   
  
She looked down, eyes watering.   
  
"I was visiting, the Deatheaters came, killed them both. I saved ... their child."   
Putting one hand firmly on her shoulder he directed her to a nice looking middle-aged woman and the group of Aurors dis-aperated.   
  
"Come now, let me relive you of your burden"   
  
Her ascent was Scottish and very musical, reluctantly she handed the child over to her.   
  
"Follow me, you need to see the head of the department of Aurors deary, he's free at the moment."   
  
Nodding glumly he followed the woman through a maze of corridors that where not the least bit welcoming, made her feel like she was in some kind of hospital. Shivering slightly she continued on. This mourning Air was so cold.   
  
  
I'm frightened to believe.   
  
I must try.   
  
If I stone or I fall.   
  
I'm reaching out in this mourning air.   
  
  
  
Okay It might not fit by I like the song, its by Portise head :). More soon.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Temptation waits

Okay the other chapter wasn't very good but this one is better, I'm developing the plot people, developing! Rightiho, let us get on with Love to hate, um, yeah. Please review come on, I NEED IT! I'm bloody desperate, see I'm begging? COME ON.   
  
Anyway here the FOURTH chapter, enjoy!   
  
  
Chapter 4: Temptation waits.   
  
  
I'm sorry Miss Montague but the culprits were not caught, we ill contact you if anything comes up."   
  
"What about Roger?"   
  
Her voice echoed around the small office.   
  
"He's going to live with his Grandparents, good day Mrs Montague"   
  
He cut short any questions she could have or enquires, understanding that he had work to do and that this woman had no evidence he had told her, basically to go away. She grabbed her cloak and left Mr. Sorinsa to his more 'important' witnesses.   
  
The Department of Aurors was under so much stress to actually catch some deatheaters and informers that they hardly gave any worthy witnesses a safe house or some form of protection, doing this would stop allot of people getting killed, which for her there was about 70% chance of right now. Most people had lost any faith that they had in the Ministry over these past two years, the only people that were truly respected was Dumbledor and Mad-Eye-Moody.   
  
The assortment of white hallways and corridors wasn't a help to anyone who wanted to actually get out of the building, it seemed that this building's purpose was to hold people inside its depths for as long as possible.   
  
To her relief a smart looking man in billowy black robes was heading in her direction, time to ask for direction she didn't want to be stuck in this maze any longer.   
  
"Excuse me but do you know how to get out of this place?"   
  
Her tone frank and irritated, three hours in this place was enough for anybody. He looked down on her, pale blue eyes staring at her like she was some kind of foul insect that needed to be squashed.   
  
"Yes I do, take the next left and go down the stairs until you reach level one"   
  
He said this like he was dying of boredom, his eyes narrowed then swept off. The back of his neatly parted hair shinning in the florescent light.   
  
Taking his advice she took the next left and managed to get out of the Ministry headquarters.   
The cold night air bit into her like a rabid dog, to many things had happened tonight, things that would haunt her for eternity. How could she, shaking her head she didn't dare walk home, it was to far and this constant fear of a hooded man jumping out the shadows was pretty strong at the moment. Pulling out a spare wand that the ministry had given to her she flagged down the Knightbus and being a little more polite this time, she finally went home.   
  
  
*   
  
  
Severus stood with his head bowed low and hands behind his back, in the presence of his master it was the proper way to act. But he wasn't alone, many black figures stood around the tall, pale man that was Lord Voldemort.   
  
"You all are doing well except for a couple of you who have failed me once again, but you did get the job done."   
  
A tiny shiver passed through three Deatheaters after this was said.   
  
"She is to be found and killed, The Ministry have not put her in a safehouse and they have not given her any protection thanks to our connections with the Head of the Department of Aurors."   
  
His lip twitched slightly.   
  
"Severus, have you brought the Potion that I requested you to make for me?'   
  
He raised a none existent eyebrow, scarlet eyes staring at Severus. Stepping forward he reached inside in robes and pulled out a corked bottle filled with bright orange with flecks of red.   
  
"Yes My Lord"   
  
Severus spoke in a loud, clear voice as he handed the bottle to Lord Voldemort. He moved his hand away from his masters as quickly as he could, touching Lord Voldemort was not a nice thing. It gave you a jolt up and down your spine which made you see sparks in the corners of your eyes. All the dark power the swirled beneath the calm surface did that to you, made you feel so electrified.  
  
"I need you, Lucius to be on the alert as Mad-eye is going to checking your department, Rianne and Peter you are going to be going to Romania, see if you can get the ministry over there to help us. Use force if necessary. That is all"   
  
Staring at them calmly they all appeared one by one. So Lord Voldemort was left alone to bigger and greater things then the assignments of his grovelling, cowardly Servants.   
  
  
*   
  
  
SEverus didn't know how to react when he strode into work the next morning, should he? Laying his eyes upon the small blond, blue eyes scanning a huge book with aged pages he decided that well, not now. She looked up, the usual friendly sparkle was missing, it was replaced by a harrowing, dead look.   
  
"Morning"   
  
Her voice sounds so far away, she isn't here. She never was.   
  
"Morning Miss Montague"   
  
giving her a strange look Severus prowled over to his work bench and checked on a couple of steaming caldrons. It seems that she is particle vuruble, he could do it now, he could get it over with. But something refused to let him, it clung ferociously to his insides, making any thought of killing wither into an oblivion.   
  
Why was he being so stupid? It was just Kate, just sweet, sacred, kind Kate that would never harm anyone for the reasons that he hurt and killed innocent people. Sometimes he would question his way of life, why he did what he did. But no one else could give him that rush of power, the pure adrenaline that came with killing. It was a wonderful feeling to hold someone's life in your hands, and to crush it in two single words. 'Avada Kevadra'.   
  
To tell the truth, Severus liked Killing. he liked watching blood slip from their wounds. It gave him morbid satisfaction to get rid of humans as if they were troublesome termites in need of extermination. This part of Severus thrived when doing Lord Voldemorts bidding but the other slowly shrank and shrank until he was devoid of any goodness in his life. It was true that life had been hard on him, so he thought it gave him a right to let out his frustration on others. In a way, it did.   
  
Severus gazed up through a curtain of greasy black hair, she was no longer sitting on the tiny stool but on her way to the store room. She was holding her own very well , her best friend had died and she hadn't shed a tear. She was stronger then Severus had thought, allot stronger then _everyone_ thought.   
  
He also needed some more supplies for his Potion, sleeping death. Like a large, prowling black cat he walked towards the storeroom. Apon entering he was thankful that she getting wiles that were from the *bottom* shelf, the top shelves were danger zones with her.   
  
She looked strangely determined as she pulled assorted jars and viles, like she wasn't going to cry. It was amazing that she was not crying, her the sensitive little blond holding her head high with the air of some great Queen. He couldn't take his eyes off her, she looked so different, so strong.   
  
Maybe underneath it all she was writhing in pain. This was very likely but he really should get on with finding certain ingredients, the only problems was that she was right in his way of the vital ingredient.   
  
"Excuse me Miss Montague"   
  
She looked up at him, blue eyes screaming with sadness.   
  
"Oh, sure"   
  
She said, delicately moving her small body to the side of his lanky one. Like the roll of the tide she left as quickly as she had come. He could have done it then, perfect. But no, he was to busy goggling at her, god this was getting stupid. he didn't want to say it but this was developing into something that he didn't like, he wasn't the kind of guy that had crushes. But he didn't want this one, he had to kill her, but he couldn't. She was just another body on the pile, that's all.   
  
Once he came out of the store room his determination melted like butter on the stove. There she was, bending down over her cauldron, cleavage exposed. Something twisted uncomfortably down near his stomach. Move Severus, move! Screamed a voice inside his head, urging him to move. And he obeyed reluctantly.   
He walked back to his bench with stiff, unyielding to his commands.   
  
God, this had gotten bad, it was impossible for him to think straight now. He felt like bending down and screaming all his worries, troubles and secrets to the back of Kate Montague, Severus shuddered at the thought.   
  
This was going to be a looong day.   
  
  
*   
  
  
"Why is your potion green, Miss Montague?"   
  
She looked at the floor, mumbling something that was barley audible.   
  
"Because I added the gretas root before it boiled."  
  
He smirked.   
  
"I want this redone, BEFORE you can go home, is that clear?"   
  
Her fists clenched, he was so teacher like at times, it was like being at Hogwarts again.   
  
"I could just bring it down from boiling point and add a sprinkling of Banata Powder-"   
  
"Yes you could do that but your not going to learn from your mistakes that way, are you?   
  
Her anger was bubbling, she needed a vent, everything had gone wrong now _he_ had the nerve to be a condescending little bastered.   
  
"Look, I am really tired and I want to go home now I'm going to do things MY way, okay?"   
  
This took Severus by surprise, he looked faintly shocked, but then the cold, furious mask was on again.   
  
"Well if you hadn't realised this *Miss Montague* but I am your boss and have authority over you so you do as I say"   
  
He said this in a deadly whisper that would make even the toughest of people quake in fear. This voice told people that he was capable of stripping their hair off in a matter of seconds. Most logical people would run right about now but Kate was not in a logical mood, she was verging on hysterics.   
  
"Your just doing this because you like making me feel small and I don't have to put up with it, you are being a condescending little basted who doesn't know when to SHUT UP!"   
  
Her tiny voice went to an extreme height of volume, he couldn't believe it, this wasn't the Kate he knew, this was another personality from the depths of hell, this wasn't Kate. Or was it? He didn't know but it was fury that glittered in her big blue eyes that were bulging out of her sockets like golfballs. God she looked attractive when she was mad.   
This isn't the time for this, he had to get her to obey him, he was boss. BOSS.   
  
"Listen here, you are just being a stupid whiny brat who can't control her anger if I ever here you talk to me li-   
  
SLAP. Summoning up all her strength she slapped him squarely in the face. Severus stumbled slightly, he touched a fresh pink patch on his cheek.   
  
"You, you slapped me."   
  
He said faintly, not willing to believe what had just happened. Her hand still frozen in mid-air she was practically frothing at the mouth, then very slowly her face fell and her hand dropped from its stance. Her eyes fell to the floor like magnets towards metal. But this time it was Severus's anger that rose.   
"How DARE you!"   
  
He took two threatening steps towards her, his eyes were flashing with fury and he looked like some kind of snake, rearing up like a king cobra ready to strike.   
He beard down on her, his face was so close to hers that she could feel the anger coming out of his black, tunnel-like eyes.   
  
"I-I-'m sorry I-"  
  
She stuttered, eyes bulging from there sockets. Maybe it was a mistake to blow her top, she should have known that he would react like this. It was one thing to challenge his authority but to slap him was another. She wouldn't be surprised if *he* did beat her into a bloody pulp, but Severus had more self control then that, that's what she hoped anyway.   
Bending down, he swooped in on her like a huge bat, it was frightening to see him this close up, this, this angry.   
  
"So your sorry, hmmm?"   
  
His voice was a deadly hiss, she shrank away from his towering form.   
  
"Y-Y-es ..."   
  
He raised on long black eyebrow in disbelief. This was getting out of control, this was getting scary ...   
Her back hit the cold stone wall. there was no escape from him now, or was there?   
  
"Look, I'm sorry I'll do what you asked just, just ..."   
  
His black eyes narrowed into slits of fury.   
  
"Just what?"   
  
The sarcasm oozed from his voice, his over large nose nearly touching her small, aquiline one.   
  
"Just, just-   
  
She looked up at him, his face was screwed up with rage and his already thin lips where clenched together with such force that his mouth only seemed to be a single line.   
  
God, she looks acctractive when she's afraid ... so tempting, I could just, no ..  
  
His face is relaxing slightly, would it be right if I just ...   
  
Could I move my lips closer to hers, could I?   
  
Maybe if I let him, no he wouldn't want it.   
  
If I just ...   
  
If I could ...   
  
There lips touched once, then again, like two teenagers with raging hormones their mouths were now in a tangled session of tongue wrestling. They couldn't pull away, it was right but so very wrong. Severus's arms began to creep up Kate's back.   
  
God, I shouldn't be doing this ...   
  
He's my boss ...   
  
But these thoughts were ignored instead they were replaced by Lust and wanting, they both wanted it but both knew it was suicide.   
. This heated kiss seemed to go on forever. But as soon as it got really steamy, Kate pulled away. Severus gave her a quizzical look, his hands still wrapped tightly around her.   
  
"We really shouldn't -   
  
"Yeah, we shouldn't .."   
  
Severus cut in knowing what she was going say.   
  
"Not here, Madam Zambini could walk in ..."   
  
He didn't show it but inside he was doing a little victory dance containing lots of 'whopeees' and screams of delight. Well it wasn't every day that someone like him got sex, well he hoped it was going to be sex ...   
  
"Consider it -   
  
There lips met once more in the torch light.   
  
"Done"   
  
In a flash both Kate and Severus dis-apperated.   
  
  
*   
  
  
The candles flickered slightly over the tangled web of arms and legs that slept silently. Both of them had there doubts and it was Severus who knew the consequences of this but got caught up in those lovely blue eyes of hers, sometimes if he stared to long he thought he might get lost in there.   
  
As the two slept someone prowled up Nemesis Ally, hooded eyes sweeping the street for signs of life. But as it was 3:15am in the mourning the residents were very wide awake so she had to be careful. This street wasn't filled with Voldemort supporters, that was Knockturn. This, well its full of the worst kinds of witches and Wizards that haunt the earth, doing unholy and evil things as they go. And this was where they lived.   
  
Rianne had seen that little episode between Severus and Kate, she had gone down there to dispose of the little bitch and all the stories she had heard about Severus and Montague's sister she thought that she might as well do it. Hell, she could always rub it in his face after, now that would be the highlight oh yes in deed. But as she watched them dis-apperate a plan formed in her mind, she could get something that she had always wanted from him, Power.   
  
Flicking the hair out of her eyes she continued on, she was looking for a number 6. Since most of these residents might kill her on site if they see her peering at their letterboxes and seeing light wouldn't help much either.   
  
After a couple of attempts she found it, it wasn't a very pleasant house, it was on the other end of the scale. Scary. The path was wet with rain and frost, this was all planned out. She would knock on the door, he would come yadadadadada and if anything went wrong she'd stun him and kill the girl -bitch thing.   
  
Raising her fist she tapped three times on the paint flaked door. A groan and the shuffling of feet soon followed this, so it was true our dear old Sevvie is a light sleeper, she thought dully.   
She knew Severus wouldn't just open the door, he'd check and do a couple of spells. But what harm was her coming over here, she could just be delivering a message ...   
  
The door swung open, she smiled. His hair was in disarray and eyes puffed up.   
  
"What, Rianne?"   
  
He hissed through clenched teeth, smiling sweetly she put on her best manipulator voice.   
  
"Ah yes, Severus, you wouldn't believe what I saw ... -he scowled- ... Well I went down to Madam Zambini's to see if I could find this Kate and I was about to open the door and you'll never guess what I saw you two doing ..."  
  
Each word was dripping with fake sincerity but before he could say anything she began again.   
This time her voice turned into a deadly whisper.   
  
"I saw you and Kate Montague with your arms warped around in watch other Kissing in a way that would put a porn star to shame ... No if I'm correct dear little Kate is asleep in your bed right now and before I knocked you were most likely in there with her."   
  
Severus's face went a deep red and those black eyes turned into nasty little slits of fury. Zoning in on her smirking face he stared directly into a pair of glittering hooded eyes.   
  
"Look _Rianne_ if you think I-"   
  
"I think that I want your ranking, you give it to me and I won't tell about your little "run in" with Kate, I'll give you three days then your time is up. But don't think you can do anything to me, my owl is taking the long route to Lord Voldemort which makes exactly three days if you agree he'll disappear. Three days, Severus"   
  
Smirking she waved to a fuming Severus then dis-apperated.   
  
  
There's so much at stake   
  
  
I can't afford to waste.   
  
  
I never needed anyone like this before.   
  
  
Temptation waits.   
  
  
  
HAH I HAVE A PLOT ... well I hope I do ...? Anyway I'll be going please enjoy, oh yeah those last couple of lines where from the song Temptation waits, its pretty good. Okay The next chapter is probably gonna be a tear jerker bring yer tissues, k? BYE!   
  
  
  



	5. You are the perfect drug

Heres, um chapter 5, yes I momentarily forgot where I was up to ...Rightiho on with the authors notes. Thanks for reviewing, loved it. This chapter is very sad, tissues people tissues. No warnings. Just Angst, a little lime, well sort of. Please enjoy. A Lovely reviewer noted that I rushed it, especially the last bit. Yes I agree, I usually write these chapters late at night so at the end I just want to get straight to the point, post then sleep. I'll try to take my time.   
  
On with the show ...   
  
  
Chapter 5: You are the perfect drug.  
  
  
It blazed through his head, those words smeared themselves across his vision. 'You have no choice' He wanted to kill her, but there were consequences. Grinding his teeth he stalked back inside, eyes gleaming like to black marbles. A cold breath of air tweaked the edge of his dressing gown as he closed the door. He couldn't, no he wouldn't tell her, should he kill her and still remain one of the most powerful or drop to hers, just for Kate? The Kate that he had slept with only once? yes, that Kate. His mind was humming with visions of a disremembered Mrs Lestrange, her smirking face twisted in a silent scream. he would find away, or lose everything but gain her love, but she wouldn't know, his little secret. Shaking his head he cleansed himself of all heroic thoughts.  
  
He gently opened the door to his bedroom, she was still asleep. Her soft hair had fallen over her face, could he? He had this argument before, hours before. This wasn't good, he should be able to do this. She was just a one night stand, who was he kidding? She was more, it was like she had somehow burrowed her way into his unyielding heart. But deep down, no matter what he told himself, he liked her in there.   
  
Closing the door quietly he hopped back into bed, she stirred slightly but did not wake. Not wanting to sleep just yet, he pondered what little miss power hungry had said to him. God, why didn't he just push her away, wouldn't that have been the logical thing? No, what he had done was not logical, it was stupid but laying in that bed with her sleeping form so close to his, the doubts he had about Kate seemed to lift. Smiling slightly, he decided he'd wash his hair tomorrow, besides it was getting rather greasy. He didn't mind but he was sure Kate did.   
  
Wrapping his arms around her a pulled her close, she moaned but settled as he brushed her hair out of her eyes. Contentedly smiling she snuggled into his shoulder, his long fingers gently trailed down the side of her face. Along her smooth forehead, to aquiline nose and across her sweet tasting lips. He let his hand fall down her to the small of her back, she did the same. It was so strange to feel this, this warmth, when he was still young he had dreamt of heat like this. It would creep up his back, up to his head then down like a rocket to the tips of his toes. Like sunshine it filled him with happiness. But his adolescent dreams had been blown away by his ambition for power. The feeling of power was like a drug, but this -this was more. A perfect drug.   
Their bodies pressed close, Severus finally began to fall asleep. Like the devils pitchfork, a stabbing, burning sensation prickled across his arm, Kate flinched away,   
  
"Ow!"   
  
She reached up at to see if her back was okay, it was like fire to touch. She gave Severus a confused look, eyes shinning in the darkness.   
"What was that?"   
  
She flick on the light, Severus was out of bed clutching his arm where a ugly, vicious looking mark burned against his pale skin. It was so clear, to clear. She turned her head away, his eyes widened.   
  
"No Kate its no-"   
  
Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes, the sparkled in the dim light of the lamp.   
  
"Not what is seems Severus? Your a MURDERER, you sick and twisted bastad, I shouldn't even be near you! How-"   
  
Her voice began to rise, Severus was beginning to panic, what should he do? She knew, was it to late?   
  
"Kate please!"   
  
He reached forward, trying to grab her shoulder she shrank back. Looking up at him with horrified eyes. The irrepressible confusion began to rise, it made her stumble, made her so very hurt.   
  
"I can't believe, y-y-y ou let me sleep with you and you knew, you probably did it, all those people, dead. How could you?'   
  
Her voice was choked with emotion, the look she gave him. So, so betrayed. I led her into this, Severus's heart sank. What could he say, nothing. All his hopes were beginning to deflate.  
  
"What, what have I done?"   
  
She moved further away from him, blankets pulled around her as if they were a barrier from his dirtiness. he couldn't answer this, for once in his life he was speechless and totally devoid of any comments. Standing there totally naked, clutching his arm he stared imploringly at her, begging to be understood without words.   
  
"And I'm in your bed"   
  
Breathing deeply she threw the covers off herself , head held high with a strength that he did not know she possessed. She began to pick up her clothes off the floor, putting them on as quickly as she could.   
  
"I should report you, you know? You fucking bastad, how could you!"   
  
Her voice was strained with the use of so much volume, he couldn't let her go like this, he couldn't.   
"You don't know what its like there, we live our li-   
  
Those deep blue eyes stared hard into his, rivets of tears streamed continuously. You should have kept quiet, muttered a tiny voice in his head.   
  
"I don't want to know and I never do, how could you? You killed her, for some worthless cause.   
  
He flinched internally, deep down he knew it was worthless. He couldn't tell her why he did it, the power. The drug like power that made his senses heighten, eyes roll back into his head. That power.   
  
"I will never see her again, she's dead Severus, dead. My only true friend killed by a band of people who don't even know why their doing _what_ their doing. -  
  
her voice grew slightly in volume, eyes widening in anger.   
  
I SHOULD report you, hand you over to the ministry where you can rot in Azkaban for the rest of your miserable life.   
  
Severus shuddered, waiting for the onslaught.   
  
"But I can't.   
  
Severus looked up, the confusion apparent in his eyes. Any normal human being would have, why not her? he deserved it, but didn't want to go. She SHOULD be dragging me to the ministry head quaters by now.   
  
Why?"   
  
She took a tentative step back, not sure what to do. She knew what to say but, voice so tiny and afraid.   
  
"Because, because   
  
-her voice became very quiet-   
  
"I love you"  
  
Her eyes met his, his insides squirmed. Her love me? She bit her lip, expecting him to roar like a charging rhino, but it never came. All was silent, Severus was to shocked to speak. Now was the time, leave.   
  
Then. like a breath of wind she left the room.   
  
It hit Severus hard, she loved him and she was leaving. Tiny jets of warmth began to shoot to the tips of his toes to the top of his head. It was like that scrawny Adolescent boy had sprang into life, the hopes and dreams were so clear. He could have it, love. She couldn't leave, he had to tell her  
  
"Kate, come back!"   
  
  
  
Cried a half naked Severus, pulling on his dressing gown. He didn't want her to go, she loved him, he wanted to let her know that HE returned it! ... Flying down the hall way, she was just closing the door.   
  
"KATE!"   
  
Flinging open the door he was met with an empty porch, she had gone, forever. He stared at the spot which he thought she would have been. Hanging his head he bit his lip. The jets of warmth disappeared, the boy that was so vivid moments before withered back into that clump of darkness the walked the halls of his heart, staining the carpet with its despair. The warmth was once again replaced by that familiar icy feeling. He was broken for the second time in his life, and he knew that it was all his fault.   
  
"Kate..."   
  
  
You make me hard, when I'm all soft inside  
I see the truth, when I'm all stupid eyed  
The arrow goes straight through my heart  
Without you everything just falls apart   
  
  
My blood wants to say hello to you   
My feelings want to get inside of you  
My soul is so afraid to realise how very little there is left of me.   
  
I want you.   
I want you  
I want you   
I want you   
  
You are the perfect drug  
  
  
  
  
  
O O O what did ya think. God i'm a bitch. Liiiike? Please review. That was so sad, poor Sevi, don't worry things get worse. *Evil grin* I think that nine inch nails song fits, but I like it anyway :)  
  
  



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